In engaging with the challenges that like us all, you face and that can persist for us all, and also in terms of the manner in which you currently think, currently engage emotionally, and as a consequence currently behave, to what degree at this moment in time on your own unique and special journey, does all of this define your sense of self ? (esteem and worth, happiness and well-being)
To what degree is all of this and the potential benefits (there are some) attached to your current style of engagement, serving you well or otherwise at the moment?
If not, what do you really need to “know” about the current struggle? What might you accept in a mindful way in terms of self and other?
Is it worth it to create new and different meaning for yourself? Is it worth it to experiment with a better way for you? Only you can make that courageous decision. Good Luck.